An astronaut on the Artemis II mission has caused upset by saying that the dark side of the moon was “a bit disappointing, to be honest”.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing we can do it,” said Astronaut Dave Concrete. “Great scientific achievement, and all that.
”It’s just, I’ve gotta be honest - it does look a bit dull. It’s basically grey rock. Pretty much like the side we can see from Earth, come to think of it. Reckon the Pink Floyd album woulda been pretty tedious if they’d known what they were writing about.”
He was then taken aside by his superior officer, who said “Look, what if Neil Armstrong had stepped onto the moon and said how boring and featureless it was? Think what a let down that would have been.
“Luckily it didn’t seem boring to him. That’s why they picked someone from Ohio to go first.”
Nasa has conceded that their latest spacecraft is unable to go where the Apollo missions went, which is a soundstage somewhere in the Nevada desert. Said one scientist, 'We conveniently lost all the original data, alongside who shot JFK. This means we cannot replicate the fake flag and questionable photography, instead we are forced to actually visit the Moon-which is the one thing the aliens asked us not to do.”
Fifty years since the original fake landing, we now forced to pretend that our technology is worse than the 70s-which is only true when talking about Prog Rock. We are now expected to believe that Artemis will have 41 minutes of communication blackout, while Richard Nixon was able to order pizza from Apollo 11 using two papercups connected by string.
Instead Artemis II will do a quick lap of the moon, ignoring all the otherworldly cities made from cheese. The return flight will be fairly straight forward once North America lines up with them, which is less complicated now that we know the Earth is flat. 'Thank goodness we launched on April 1st.'
image by Grok