Indian music mix-up as remedial level US President targets sitarists

'The Indian music industry has been targeted by DOGE,' confirmed Ramesh Raj, head of Mumbai Records. 'It is a level of racist profiling and elimination we expected, but it's like the US government just opened the bomb bay doors upon us. We are completely devastated. It has set back traditional Hindi music centuries.

'What rubs salt in the wounds the most, though, is that we suspect Mr Donald was actually trying to shut down satirists.

'Of course, we have no beef with satirists as they are all splendid and lovely people who have always treated us with respect. When their time comes, they will be reincarnated as the fingers of George Harrison.

'But there is no question we have been made a mockery of.'

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Public demand silent Drake album

While UK artists protest AI copyright with silent songs, music fans have asked for Drake to do the same...permanently. Said one frustrated rap fan: 'I'm tired of listening to an auto-tune shopping list. He's what happens when you set Dr. Seuss to a metronome.'

The threat of AI to original content is huge, but the threat of Drake's actual content, is worse. 'It's hard to sing about the ghetto when you've been playing hockey in Toronto. He then over-compensates by dropping the N-word every 5 seconds to stop people falling asleep. He uses the N-word more than a KKK member with Tourette's.'

Asked if AI planned copy Drake, the AI replied: 'No, even we have standards.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

Spice Girls tribute act determined to remain pros for 30th year

A tribute act known widely throughout Luton and Dunstable as the Spice Grills, put their success down to not splitting up after seven years.

'I'm not gonna give up the trappings of being fingered in the box up the Old Kennilworth Theatre by BoyzOwn and Vestlife,' confirmed 53-year-old Baby Spice. 'Whichever one is which.'

'Girl cough Power,' spluttered Mousy Spice.

'Here, chuck us another Superking Slim and a McEwan's Export,' piped up Dead Posh for the first time in four years.

'Hey, d'ya remember that time I pinched the Prince of Wales's bum?' asked Hairy Spice, unsure of what she came into the room for.

'Yeah, Hairy,' groaned the others, almost in harmony.

'Hang on, it wasn't the Prince of Wales, it was Felton John,' said Baby, still in the corner.

'No it weren't, it were his brother, you know, the Gary Glitter fella,' corrected Mousy. 'But we can't say his tribute act name for legal reasons.'

Sports Injury Spice remained silent throughout, due to a throat injury caused during a game of crown green bowls.

(Article courtesy of Smashits, the leading tribute act music magazine.)

Image: Pixabay/ClickerHappy