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Updated: Dec 5, 2022
Dazzlingly awful children's Christmas plays are being rehearsed just as parents rehearse their lies about how good the play was and how good their child was in it.
Teacher Jodie Johnstone said 'This year our theme is suffering. Specifically making parents aware of just how insufferable their little "angels" are.'
Parent Shelley Stevenson whispered conspiratorially 'God bless Bluetooth headphones, I'll be listening to a podcast whilst they shriek "Little Donkey" in 3 or 4 different keys. I'm also smuggling in booze. Did you think it was coffee in this travel mug?'
Stevenson violently nudged her snoring partner awake before adding 'This is the first time for years that we've had to sit through this drivel - bring back Covid, I say.'
Updated: Feb 10, 2022
A child dressed as an angel was sent by her school to ask a vicar, a simple, yet perplexing question which her teacher was unable to answer satisfactorily.
The question: “If there was no room at the inn for the baby Jesus, where did the 3 kings stay?”
The vicar explained that the kings arrived several years later, however this didn't satisfy the angelic child, who then wanted to know if that was the case, why Wayne Dodds who was playing the part of a king, was allowed to be in the naivety play manger, because he keeps tugging her pigtails.
The vicar is understood to have told the child not to believe everything her teachers tell her...
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