Trump to invade Norway to get Peace Prize

With the talks between Putin and Trump in Alaska to shaft Ukraine looking unlikely President Trump has lamented the lost opportunity for him to win the Nobel Peace Prize, an award he believes should be his.  Consequently he has tasked Pete Hegseth to draw up plans to invade Norway to extract the Peace Prize for him, by force.

The Norwegian Nobel Committee has convened and is proposing a sixth Nobel prize to the existing five - Peace, Physics, Chemistry, Medicine and Literature - the Nobel Irony Prize.  'We could have awarded the literature prize for the Art of the Deal,' suggested a Nobel Committee spokesman, 'but given the way he is wrecking the US economy that would also translate into irony as well.'

How a container ship ended up in a Norwegian man's garden

Isn't it good, Norwegian wood? Norway Hosé!

For several years now, Norway has mocked the UK by gifting it the worst, most pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree it can possibly produce. This year was only half a tree, which is actually an improvement on last year’s bag of cats with a star drawn on. But things are now turning hostile as it has been leaked that the UK government is preparing to say ‘Thanks but no thanks’ to all future Norwegian Christmas trees, following secret talks with Denmark. Specifically, the Lego factory.

‘It’s a very exciting time’ explained Minister of Festive Affairs, Pamela Frost, ‘If our deal goes ahead, we’ll get a new Lego Christmas tree each year, and once Christmas is over, instead of having it chopped up and things, we’ll simply dismantle it and turn it into something lovely like a windmill or a farmhouse – or perhaps the Death Star. The possibilities are limited only by our imaginations. And how many blocks we have’.

When the Norwegian government was invited to comment, NewsBiscuit received the following statement from BjØrd StØrd, minister of international relations:

‘It is the shame that our friends in the United Kingdom feel the need to throw back our generosity into our faces. I do not know who we will laugh in the face of now. However we will not lie back and take this. The Christmas tree is also a symbol of Norway and if the people of the Lego decide to create the Lego Christmas tree, we will sue them in the European courts for copyright infringement.’

A spokesman for Lego claims they can get around the copyright infringement by making its model trees a lurid neon pink. They’ve decided not to tell the UK government.

‘It will be the surprise.’

Image: Chandlervid85 | Freepik