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'Hatzolah? I thought it was Hezbollah!' says Netanyahu


Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu apologised today for the destruction of four ambulances in north London.


The ambulances belonged to Hatzolah, a voluntary organisation that provides healthcare services for the local Jewish community. Unfortunately, it’s thought the IDF’s intelligence division confused them with Hezbollah.


Netanyahu has apologised for the mistake, though he also pointed out that by the standards of IDF precision strikes, hitting London instead of Lebanon was relatively accurate.


'Of course we’re shocked and upset,' said a spokesman for north London’s Jewish community. 'Then again, the actions of Israel have always been enormously damaging to diaspora Jews, and it’s never made us reconsider our unthinking support. So I can’t imagine it will now,'


Another spokesman said it was one of the darkest days in recent Jewish history, though it turned out he hadn’t heard about the ambulances, and was talking about Spurs losing 3-0 to Nottingham Forest.



Image credit: Wix AI

Nottingham Council isn't going to talk to NewsBiscuit anymore

The Nottingham Post has found itself blacklisted by Nottingham Council, a subsidiary of Reform Ltd.  The Councillors aren't allowed to answer questions from the journalists or even to let them judge their colouring-in.


NewsBiscuit understands that its journalists (sic) are also banned from being provided soundbites, dubious factoids or frankly unbelievable claptrap from any part of the council, but especially from the elected morons.  In the absence of access to low quality information from lower quality councillors playing at running a council NewsBiscuit has no other option than to make stuff up and write articles that are almost, but critically not quite, libellous about the bell-ends running Nottingham Council. Their colouring-in, by the way, is atrocious.  They can't find the line, let alone stay inside of it.  Not libellous, just fact.


To save being banned by other Reform Ltd run councils it is now NewsBiscuit policy to write absolute bollocks about each and every other Reform Ltd council in the UK, just as we do and have done about any political entity since we started. 


However, following Reform UK Ltd CEO's claim in Washington that Reform Ltd doesn't silence critics or media, NewsBiscuit is now looking forward to seeing the Nottingham Post in Reform briefings soon.


image from Gemini

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