Hackers say they have stolen the pictures, names and addresses of around 8,000 Nursery Land characters including The Master, the Dame and the Little Boy who lives down the lane.
The gang of cyber criminals is using the highly sensitive information, such as 'who sells sea shells on the sea shore', to demand a ransom of golden eggs, silver nutmegs and bags of wool.
The criminals say they also have information about the construction of many of the buildings including houses built of straw, stick, bricks and, in one case, gingerbread and sweets.
Newsbiscuit has contacted Old King Cole for comment, but has not had a response.
Cyber-security expert Little Boy Blue described the targeting as 'an absolute new low' and immediately blew on his horn to warn others..
Another expert, Jack Horner, suggested people should: 'Sit in the corner' for safety
Mary, Mary Quite Contrary said her family had received an email from the hackers, who told them they knew exactly how her garden grew.
'It was all very professional and well-written, no spelling mistakes or anything like that,' she said.
The hacking group responsible for the claims appears to be relatively new. It is believe to be from the Hamlin area of Germany, and calls itself 'The Pied Piper'.
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Keir Starmer said there was no conflict of interest with Mr.Wolf's private house blowing business. The PM confirmed that Mr. Wolf had his full backing and was not due to lobbying from the Anti-Pig League.
The new Minister reiterated his commitment to ending homelessness: 'I'll be reducing their numbers to zero by a one in one out policy. For every person made homeless, I eat one. Simple.' Labour are said to be keen to apply the same scheme to NHS waiting lists.
Starmer's corruption and hypocrisy has gone unchecked, admitted one journalist: 'We'll huff and puff but won't say anything.' Meanwhile Mr. Wolf has approved plans for 4 million new affordable homes - all of them straw.
Image: Wix AI