P&O to launch new cruise ship

P&O bosses to pay staff 'in rum, sodomy and the lash'

'Arr, me hearties' said an eye-patch wearing P&O spokesman, feeding some crumbs to the enormous parrot on his shoulder, his one metal tooth glinting in the light.

'It's important for the land lubbers who run the enterprise to take the lion's share of Neptune's bounty. But some of them scurvy-ridden knaves have demanded a living wage! Even when we set sail in international waters? Keel haul 'em I say. Send 'em to Davy Jones' locker. Do they think we're made of Spanish gold? We'll make them walk the plank at the point of my cutlass, rather than pay them enough doubloons to live.'

The parrot flapped its wings and squawked 'Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight. But only for management.'  

Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

People smugglers to charter P&O ferry

It has come to light that a gang of people smugglers have an audacious plan to up their game.

"This is a win-win," said a burly man, festooned with bling and sporting a Breitling watch.

"No more unseaworthy dinghies for the 'customers'. A relatively safe crossing ... assuming the crew are capable.

We get to shift 'cargo' in bulk, and P&O generate some income".

This will require a master of logistics to run the operation. Who do they have in mind?

"We understand that there's an English chap called Chris Grayling?"

Ferry Kiel Germany Car - Free photo on Pixabay