The group’s spokesperson confirmed: ‘You can’t be a proscribed a terror group, if you don’t exist.’ Officials at the Home Office have been left scratching their heads about this legal loophole, said one: ‘Technically you’re not allowed to spray paint RAF aircraft, but I suppose you can if you’re Prince Andrew.’
Members of Palestine Action have been advised to change their names by deed poll to Bill Clinton and Bill Gates, thus making them immune to prosecution. The spokesperson said: ‘Even our controversial views about the Middle East are completely fine, if we just attribute the quotes to Tony Blair’. You might think calling our base of operations Paedo Island, would draw the attention of the police. But if anything, the police have helpfully burned all their documents and offered to turn a blind eye if we need Mossad to assassinate anyone.’
‘Of course the most effective way to avoid criminal prosecution is just to call ourselves Benjamin Netanyahu.’
Image: jarmoluk - Pixabay
This summer's hit new toy, Palestine Action Man, is being removed from sale across the UK following a Home Office ban.
The plastic figure was modelled on an Oxbridge arts graduate with a trust fund, called Tristan, and came with accessories such as:
- ornamental keffiyeh and pretentious nom de guerre (Abu Saladin)
- wire cutters, for breaking into air force bases to spray paint on planes (Black September would have blown them up)
- opposable thumbs, for posting anti-Israel tweets with rat emojis
- eagle-eyes, for reading articles by leading left wing journalist Owen Jones
Also banned is Palestine Action Woman, a stockbroker's daughter figure from Chalfont St Giles called Poppy, who the toymakers designed to stand outside the BBC in London every day dressed in combat fatigues and banging a drum.
"There'll be no Palestine Action Man and Palestine Action Woman dolls on our shelves," said the owner of a toyshop in Hampstead.
"That's because the ones we had in stock were snapped up immediately by all the terribly earnest Guardian-reading parents who live around here."
Image: ErikaWittlieb - Pixabay