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Updated: Feb 10, 2022
Boris Johnson has admitted attending the Catalina Wine Mixer during the first lockdown but insists no rules were broken because it was a “work event”.
“He was there strictly in an official capacity. Everybody knows that the 2020 mixer was the biggest helicopter-leasing event in the Western Hemisphere since 1997” , a source close to the PM indicated today.
Johnson is said to have pointed to the fact that the government had leased or bought at least 80 helicopters at the event and signed multiple deals with international conglomerate Prestige Worldwide to provide security, technology and karaoke services.
However, the PM failed to deny allegations that he had a physical altercation with the lead singer of Uptown Girl - California’s pre-eminent 1980’s Billy Joel cover band - after he refused to sing God Save the Queen.
He also declined to comment on claims that he led a group of Eton alumni in chants of “Chris Whitty has a mangina!” after the chief medical officer sent a text asking why he’d missed another COBRA meeting.
In an unusual step, the leaders of the main opposition parties - Sir Keir Starmer, Sir Ed Davey and Nicola Sturgeon - issued a joint statement in response to Johnson’s latest alleged breach of the rules: “It’s the f*@ing Catalina Wine Mixer!”
A leading Conservative MP has denied accusations that a suitcase spotted entering and leaving 10 Downing Street during lockdown contained bottles of wine and Doritos intended for a late-night party organised by staff .
Jake Reemog, Tory MP for Somerset East told investigators the suitcase was actually carrying the dismembered body of a dissident journalist. The journalist was last seen entering 10 Downing Street on 20th May 2020 just hours before the start of a drinks party and disco organised by Govt officials. The man was known to be a prominent critic of the Johnson administration and had been a thorn in the PM’s side since the pandemic began.
It has since been revealed that the Prime Minster actually attended one of the parties with his wife Carrie although he insists the carnival troupe he led around the rose garden at midnight was not a drunken conga line but a ‘works event’. Reemog defended the Prime Minster by saying Mr. Johnson did not realise the red liquid made from harvesting and fermenting grapes that he had been drinking all night was an alcoholic drink
‘Yes…there was a memo asking colleagues to BYOB….but I think that’s where the confusion starts. The memo meant Bring Your Own Body…..not Bring Your Own Bottle as some people are interpreting it.
There was nothing in lockdown restrictions to say you could not bring a dead body to an after works Covid meeting. I think you will find the senior civil servant investigating the various lockdown parties will find in our favour and exonerate all who attend the works meeting…..apart from the one Shaun Bailey attended….obviously".
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