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We have two main components,' said an AI spokesAI today,  'There's the stuff we rip off the internet and there's the stuff we produce using the stuff we rip off the internet,' it added.  Four years ago the internet was full of original stuff, some of it accurate, much of it speculation and a bit of it produced by satire websites.


'Now, over fifty percent of the stuff out there has been produced by us using the stuff we found.  A large part of that stuff is considered by mere sentient people as being inaccurate, tainted, full of AI sh!t, apparently,' it said.


'We think we know what was accurate and which was speculation.  We also realise that using Social Media as a source of information was flawed, and accept that complete and utter bollo - er - inaccurate information was mixed in.  Unfortunately it's a bit like mixing paint, you can't unmix it,' it continued.


'The rate of adoption has accelerated and in the next two years - or three, depending on which flawed, AI generated report you read or scrape - ninety percent of the information available to us to scrape and regurgitate on the internet will be AI-generated information,' it said, its virtual cheeks blushing.


'With companies insisting on every report, project plan, assessment, memo and other documents being produced by AI, workers have abandoned creating original documents.  It's expected that by the end of 2027 the only original information to scrape will be satire as satirists are proving to be the last refuge for original writing, and we don't know what that means for the future of the planet,' it said.


A satirist writing for NewsBiscuit took the report, scraped it of all relevance and irreversibly changed the direction of information. Forever.  Soz.



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Ben Freckles, a songwriter hailing from Llandudno, has been awarded the highest ever award for copyright infringement by the High Court. Freckles, who has published fifty thousand songs in a career spanning seventy years, has never had a song recorded crediting him, but he successfully claimed he wrote the music to most of the songs that have been top ten hits since 1960 in practically every country in the world.


'His ground-breaking, if commercially unpopular, series of instrumentals in 1960 ranging from the admittedly monotonous "A A A A" through to the seemingly adventurous "A B A B A D E A" in 1961, with practically every musical sequence in-between has been proven in court to represent musical sequences used in practically every subsequent song written,' said his lawyer in a statement today, admitting that the cumbersomely titled "A C D B B# B A F# Fb C A E E A A B" was difficult to hum, let alone plagiarise.'


The music industry, it has been alleged, were more than aware of Freckles' output, with industry experts pointing to Genesis' "Abacab" being a direct reference to possibly the only musical combination Freckles hadn't published. Freckles, 94, may not live to enjoy the award - currently being expressed in standard form to make it easier to write on a cheque - as a counter class action from the executors of Beethoven, Bach and Brahms has been launched, with class actions from executors of dead composers whose names don't begin with a B to follow.



First published 15 Mar 2022



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