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The Nigel Farage Party, sometimes known as Reform, previously The Brexit Party, and before that UKIP, is solely represented by its main character, Nigel Farage.


In all of today’s interviews, he stated with clear vagueness how he, and to a lesser extent the rest of the party, would do everything better for less money. The Faragester was readily available for every media opportunity, including ones for other parties. The Head of the Reform Communications Team, Mr Farage, was also doing the rounds this morning, answering questions that interviewers were clearly not asking him.


The Director of the NFP Media Team, Big Nige, handled the radio work and the Vice President of Public Relations, who is the son of Guy Justus Oscar Farage, pulled an all-nighter on Russia Today.


Even after hours and hours of statements, speeches and conversations by the one single entity formerly known as the Reform Party, not much was actually said. Mainly 'Labour Bad, Tories failed, that thing that Labour messed up, we wouldn’t have done that…..skip to the end… only I can fix it.'


Reporters did manage to find a lone ex-Reform MP, a weaker one who had strayed too far from the group, and were about to question them on some of their early social media posts when the dominant male appeared and broke up the attack with a sharply snarled 'Allow me to finish…'



Picture credit: Stable Diffusion

Residents of Clacton who voted for an MP who extolled the virtues of taking their country back are expressing dismay that nobody seems to be inviting the EDL to trash Clacton and tear down their garden walls so they can throw bricks at Clacton cops.


“You can’t trust a word a bleedin’ politician says” Mavis Smallbotham of the Centre for Racist Studies told Newsbiscuit. “They come round ‘ere asking for our votes and then you never see ‘em again. They’re off encouraging people to riot somewhere else. It’s a disgrace, but do you think I can get GB News interested in it? It’s ridiculous how we can take anything back to a shop if it ain’t fit for purpose, but will they let you take a c**t back to get it changed?


The MP for Clacton was unavailable for comment, but if we can smuggle a reporter into a BBC Question Time audience, we hope to raise Ms Smallbotham’s concerns with him.


image from pixabay

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