Pornstar who had real orgasm while filming admits 'I just got sloppy'

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New Channel 5 reality cop show: Hosepipe Interceptors

Channel 5 has announced another crime busting reality show to fill its prime time "not the news and it's still a bit early for a documentary about porn" slot.

Hosepipe Interceptors will follow a crack team of specially trained officers and dogs as they use millions of pounds of technology to contain and punish criminals who insist on going against societal norms, without even thinking about the consequences.

In one episode we have seen they will tut quite loudly as a single mother in a ground floor council flat is tasered whilst filling a paddling pool for her toddler.

Roll your eyes as the ex-army major is caught watering his prize roses in the dead of night when all law-abiding citizens should be tucked up in their beds, and laugh as trainee police canine, Max, bites the water jet rather than the arm of the Porsche owner hosing the pollen off his car at 5 in the morning.

You pay your taxes, you may as well watch it while you can still afford the electricity. And anyway, there's nothing else on. Channel 5. Tuesdays. Probably.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/mikes-photography-1860391/

House of Commons Library to start stocking "top shelf" publications

Further to the news that Parliament has refused to disclose how many porn sites were blocked on Parliamentary work computers, the House of Commons library has revealed it has started stocking "top shelf" publications.

The official line is that the two decisions are unconnected, but one source within the library said that's it's hoped, with the introduction of these hardcopy "specialized" titles, the number of visits to porn sites on the Parliamentary Estate will reduce, even if visits to the toilets increase.

It's a move that, unlike the recent "decolonising" or rather "diversifying" of the library's collection, has been welcomed by many MPs, the majority of them Tory, as the publications are resolutely British in flavour; or as one red faced MP put it, 'the collection leans towards extolling the virtues of the hard working housewives of Britain'.

When asked if the House of Lords library would be following suit a spokesperson for the Lords said they were minded to avoid any additional excitement for their older Members, but reports that the Lords library has processed more online subscriptions to Farmers Weekly; a title that has become inexplicably popular recently.

Author: wileyp

image from pixabay