A long overdue review of porn laws aimed at decriminalising pornographic material has been launched by the government. 'Because most porn is technically illegal it is difficult if not impossible for those who make a lot of money from porn to do the decent thing and pay their taxes,' pointed out a government minister today, 'so we are looking at decriminalising the most popular porn in an attempt to give the taxpayers of this country a bit of a break and to ensure we have at least five Members outside of gaol by the next General Election,' he added.
The aim isn't to decriminalise everything, just the acceptable bits like topless and bottomless photographs, BDSM, bestiality, snuff movies and anything that wouldn't have turned Jimmy Savile on. 'Tractor porn isn't on the list,' the minister said. 'That's just sick. I'd take the whip off anyone viewing that filth, and use it on myself time and time again. Oh, that feels sooooooooo good.'
First published 3 May 2022
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