UK selling King to raise emergency cash for much needed night out, and also with view to saving money by dropping Kingdom part of name.
High mileage. Non-runner. Needs work. Battery not included.
Full service history. See complete, multiple-duplicated Daily Express records. Some photos may have been augmented.
Comes with second-hand Queen for free. Ideal for anyone looking to complete part of broken up set. Those seeking 1980s-style Princess will be disappointed.
No obligation to take on costly responsibilities of piss-artist formerly known as Prince.
Will consider trade-in for Canadian Prime Minister.
No time wasters.
Image: WixAI
In another breakthrough for artificial intelligence, an app has been produced which will automatically post the appropriate things on your social media accounts when a famous person dies.
In the case of pop stars, it will look up a few of their songs so you can make out you were much more of a fan than you really were and a few of their most famous gigs so you can claim you were at one of them and it 'changed your life'. It will also check they weren't a paedo or a racist and come up with euphemisms like 'troubled' when 'obviously a complete mentalist' would be nearer the truth.
However, some people are sceptical about whether AI can really do this as well as a human being, or alternatively Alastair Campbell.
'I mean, could a machine have come up with the phrase 'the people's princess' in the wake of the death of Princess Diana?
'Personally I think AI will probably launch a nuclear strike and end life on Earth long before it descends to that level of unctuous, self-serving venality.'