top of page
Search

Builder, Colin, has hopes of quick Tesco transaction dashed


Construction Site Manager Colin Mappin who was in the queue behind OAP Doris Wilkes (75) at Tesco Redditch said: 'My spirits hit the floor as Doris and her tartan wheelie managed to get to the till in front of me. I thought, here we go, by the time she's counted out the odd seventy-seven pence and used at least fifteen money-off vouchers my lunch break's going to be over. So imagine my surprise when she just whipped out her bank card nice as you like and paid within seconds.'


But just when Colin thought he was home and dry disaster struck. 'She knew the lady on the till, a third cousin of her late husband's uncle, and subsequently Doris engaged her in a ten-minute conversation about how "Bert had to have a bag fitted" and "Alice was found dead in her flat after having lain there undiscovered for three days".'


A starving Colin later confirmed: 'In the end I had to put my stuff back on the shelves as I had a meeting scheduled at two.'


Average wait in Post Office queue worse than M25 rush hour


New research published today reveals the average wait in the queue of your local post office is more stressful than trying to navigate your way around the M25 in Friday afternoon rush hour.


Retail Analyst, Penny Woolmer, explains. ''You may join a queue to buy a first class stamp, with only two people in front of you, but our data shows 94% of the time the person at the window is sending 11 parcels to eBay customers.


'Just as they're about to leave you hear, "Oh, I had better get a book of stamps too while I'm at it," something that for some inexplicable reason adds at least another ten minutes to your wait.


'When they finally leave the window your stress levels have reached boiling point because the person now being served has forgotten the pin number for their card.


'Twenty minutes follows when they search every purse and pocket for a piece of paper they've written the number on and when they finally do find it the bloody till has frozen and it all needs rebooting again.'


Gavin Rochester a pensioner from Winchester said, 'People in the queue need to chill out. I remember once in my post office it took me three hours to buy 150 stamps for my Christmas cards. The woman gave me 1st class but I wanted 2nd. That caused a right old kerfuffle.


'People weren't too best pleased but it didn't bother me cos I got all the time in the world' It's normally nice and warm in there and with the price of heating these days it's win-win.'

bottom of page