Former Reform candidate astonished to find the party “misogynist and racist”

Georgie David, formerly the Reform Party’s candidate for West Ham and Beckton, has described her disappointment in realising the party was full of misogynists and racists.

'It isn’t the first time I’ve been let down like this,” said David today. “It’s just like that time I joined a chess club. I’d expected them to go in for a wide range of indoor and outdoor activities, but they just sat around playing chess all the time.

'And don’t get me started on that Ronseal Quick Drying Woodstain that turned out to be a woodstain that dried quickly. I felt so stupid when I realised.'

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Conservative Party classified as extremist under new definitions

.

MP Bob Stewart saves the day

Tory MP Bob Stewart has been hailed as a hero by Newsbiscuit as he stepped forward to ensure the party was able to maintain its unblemished record of having a scandal for Newsbiscuit to report on for every day of the year.

Newsbiscuit’s political editor told colleagues on Friday “It was looking a bit grim for a while, after most Tories had been keeping their heads down after the revelations of the pandemic scandals, and on Friday there was nothing to publish other than my concern over whether we had enough cash in the petty cash tin to buy a tube of ointment to ease scratched bollocks. It really was that desperate trying to find a story to publish.”

Bob Stewart was convicted of racial abuse and given a £600 fine, along with being advised not to go near a deli counter in case he was mistaken for gammon and cut into slices.

Image: BeverlyLloydroberts Photos | FreeImages