Cage fighting comes to Royal Albert Hall

Following the success of the Grand Sumo Tournament at the Royal Hall – apart from overnight repairs to the floor and the re-bolting of seven toilets to the wall – the historic venue has announced some further surprises in its autumn season.

The first week of November sees International Cage Fighting, culminating in an aerial bout between Lord Melvyn Bragg and David Olusoga, just to prove that the venue is not completely ignoring its core Radio Four audience.

Later in the month there will be Axe Throwing, a compelling spectacle unless you’re sitting in the first three rows. Then there is the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra on skateboards, sponsored by Red Bull, and followed by the XL Bully Dog Show…on Ice!

Lastly, the Christmas season will be ushered in by our Japanese friends again with Sumo Enchanted Evening, an evening of show favourites accompanied by the live crushing of a double bass just by lying down on it.

Story by rogt

Atheist duped again by religious element of 'Thought for the Day'

An avowed atheist has been duped for the 1561st day in a row by the religious component of Radio 4's short 'Thought for the Day', it has been confirmed.

'I started listening to this piece at 745am on GCSE results', said Mike McBride, 46. 'It was a really interesting commentary from Professor Miriam Da Costa of the Ethics Department of University College London, who pointed out that attainment levels had ebbed and flowed over the last 20 years, particularly during the pandemic'. 

'It highlighted some interesting differences in achievement for boys and girls, and for people living in different regions of the UK, and that for young people this was such an important day, when they are feeling judged, I thought, yeh, this is decent analysis, fair play Prof Da Costa.', continued McBride. 

'And then there it was, boom, completely out of nowhere', said an angry McBride. 'She pointed out that we all have our ups and downs, and that GCSE results are perhaps a metaphor for life, with that constant feeling of being measured, evaluated, and ultimately, isn't it a higher being who makes the final judgement on whether we have 'made the grade' through our earthly endeavours?'

McBride admitted that he had been similarly duped every single day for the last 5 years, by pieces starting seemingly innocently but then slotting in a cheeky faith-based message.

'Joe Biden stepping down as US President, a bird singing in the dawn chorus, Leicester winning the Premier league against all the odds, and some sodding athlete slipping off the end of the 10m high-dive board in the Olympics', listed McBride. 'They always end in exactly the same way. God moves in mysterious ways.' 

'Mr McBride is - perhaps rightly - a little annoyed at the feeling of having the wool pulled over his eyes by this radio segment', noted Reverend Peter Jones, a regular presenter of Thought for The Day. 'And don't we all just need an outlet sometimes to vent that frustration at the world.'

'Even Jesus himself reverted to overthrowing over the tables in a temple one time when he was annoyed. The temple was, if you like, the Roman equivalent of the occasionally amusing satirical website that Mr McBride is writing in, although perhaps funnier at times.....oh, who am I trying to kid.....'. 

Photo by Jonathan Velasquez on Unsplash

Today programme is to 'break the tradition' and scrap daily horse racing tips