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“Selling Washington” criticised for stereotyping

Writers of the hit scripted reality show “Selling Washington” have been criticised for resorting to stereotypes by having the show’s two biggest bitches, Donella and Elonia, fall out with each other.


“We’ve seen it a million times in shows like this,” complained cultural commentator Lorna Putz. “Two permatanned, overly made up airheads, who obsess about their appearance but somehow still manage not to be attractive, start out as friends but soon have a huge falling out and start sniping at each other. Don’t the writers realise what an insulting stereotype that is?”


The writers retorted that the show is only showing a heightened version of who these people really are. “It’s not like they’re actors, playing characters who are nothing like them. They don’t remotely have the talent for that.


“Besides, it’s what the public want. All the way back to Dynasty having to include at least one catfight in every season, as it sent the ratings through the roof like nothing else.”


Asked whether this meant we’d be seeing Donella and Elonia coming to blows in a future episode, the writers laughed and said “Well, we might not want to take it that far. I mean, one of them has a nuclear arsenal, the other a fleet of space rockets. If they really got down to it, I’m not sure there’d be anyone left to watch.


“No, we’re thinking more of a plotline where one of them starts palling around with Kimjongunia to make the other one jealous.”


image from lockjaw


Evolution going into reverse, says Attenborough. Also, Trump sworn in.



Scientist, national treasure and brother of the Jurassic Park bloke, Sir David Attenborough, has wowed the scientific community by providing proof that evolution has finally started going backwards.


In a paper presented to the International Science Gang, Sir David cites many examples of this phenomenon.


'The rise to prominence of such armpit-scratching, knuckle-draggers like Trump, Musk and Tate is a sure sign of this,' he told the BBC.


'Their three syllable names will soon regress to two syllable names and by 2030, society's 'alpha-males' will just be identified by grunts and whistles. Reality TV shows will get worse with I'm a Celebrity taking part in a real jungle where contestants won't get to leave, Love Island will just be a resort to breed large-breasted, sloping-fore headed dipshits and Britain's Got Talent will just be people on stage throwing their faeces at Simon Cowell. So, it won't be all bad'


He added, 'Within one generation, human beings could be back living in caves, wearing the skins of their enemies to keep warm, and eating the Deliveroo driver.'


However, not all scientists agree. Professor Brian Cox told us, 'Human beings do not have the upper body strength to climb trees any more and, most kids couldn't do it if they had a ladder, their helicopter parents won't let them do anything considered even remotely so dangerous as physical exercise.'


He continued, 'I'm not the one from Succession, by the way.'


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