Outcry as government to send refugees to Huddersfield

There has been widespread criticism of a new policy announced by Home Secretary and functioning sociopath Priti Patel to send refugees to Huddersfield for "processing" to see if they are eligible, if they aren't they are returned to the warzone where they came from, if they're unlucky they get to live in Huddersfield.

"This is a sensible policy.", explained Ms Patel, "I remember the looks on my parents' faces when I sent them to the Bileretch Retirement Home in Huddersfield, and that made me think that if one thing will deter refugees, it's Huddersfield."

Really, Boris? Really!

Ukrainian refugees confirm that being bombed is the same as having to wear a mask

Ukrainian refugees have confirmed that having their homes bombed was "pretty much the same" as being obliged to wear a face mask on the bus.

People in the queue to apply for a UK visa confirmed that they only wanted to come to the UK because the mask regulations had recently been lifted. Aleksandr Melkyn who joined the queue two days earlier explained. "I didn't want to go from having bombs rain down on me to being forced to put a mask on simply to stop me infecting other people."

Mr Melkyn had to break off then as he'd finally translated the visa application form from the Welsh and discovered he had to apply in person at the UK embassy in New Zealand.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/imperioame-6404363/