Thames Water could win Turner Prize

The nominations for the 2026 Turner Prize have just been announced, include a surprise entry from Thames Water.

While most of the nominations are from the usual list radical, up-and-coming, and angry young artists, the Thames Water entry is the first one by a company. Some artists are shocked (and angry), and believe that the corporate entry is a sell out that goes against the spirit of the prize.

Thames Water were not able to give any details about the entry. 'Someone else has submitted the artwork on our behalf, but without our approval or authorisation,' said a spokesman. 'We have barely enough cash to pay dividends. We have no cash for repairs. We certainly wouldn't waste good dividend money to pay an artist for an entry. We doubt that OfWat would be keen on that.'

Art lovers who are keen to see the Thames Water entry can view the work on the beach at Eastbourne. The installation, called Pile of Poo, can be seen at low tide throughout 2026, 2027 and 2028. The work is described as a dynamic, shape-shifting and pungent reflection on the nature of greed, mortality and decay.

The OffItsHead of Rail and Road. Ya cuddent mek it up!

New regulator to monitor performance of regulators

A new government body, provisionally named OfReg, has been created to monitor the performance of regulators. 

'It’s clear that many regulators aren’t doing the job the public has a right to expect of them,' said the Minister for Pointless Bureacracy, Sir Reginald Bufton-Tufton. 'This new body will put a stop to that.

'In line with established best practice in the sector, OfReg will be staffed by people who owe favours to, people we want to shunt out of their existing jobs but can’t fire, and a chap who used to fag for me at Uppingham.'

Asked what he would do if OfReg turns out to be useless too, Sir Reginald said maybe they could set up another regulator to monitor its performance. When it was suggested that the number of regulators was spiralling out of control, he agreed, and said a committee should be set up to look into the problem.

'Or how about this - the water regulator OfWat could monitor the performance of OfReg? They’d have the spare time, since they’re doing sod all about the water companies.'

Picture credit: Wix AI