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Blair: Everyone will catch Covid in 45mins




The former PM and unrepentant liar has given the anti-vax movement a significant boost by promoting a fourth vaccine. Complained one scientist: 'Great, just what we needed, an endorsement by Harold Shipman'.


The snake-oil salesman insisted the fourth jab was necessary, as Saddam Hussain had caused Covid. Said one voter: 'I assume Blair has just been lobbied by big Pharma to inject us with Bill Gates' nanobots. Either that, or he'll dose us up with Rohypnol and steal our bank details.


Blair explained that he would coordinate the injections from a secluded wood. It would be administered by a nice MI5 man and we won't 'feel a thing'. And, anyway, the autopsy report would just say suicide.



First published 23 Dec 2021


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Scientists train AI to predict Trump's next move

Scientists at the Institute for Extreme Intelligence in Switzerland have trained a LLM (Large Language Model) to predict President Trump's behavior. They have had remarkable success in accurately predicting his next move, which runs counter to many peoples' view that Trump is utterly unpredictable.


After validating the predictions over the last two months they were astonished at how accurate the LLM had become. "We saw a 98% correspondence between the LLM's predictions and Trump's own actions" they said. The model has real implications for use in financial trading, where it can be used by traders and investors to avoid being stung by sudden swings in the stock markets.


The potential value of the software, however, may have been undercut by something they asked the LLM to do. "It functions like a very intelligent chatbot" they said "So we thought, why not ask it, how do you make these predictions so accurately?" Unfortunately, its answer may have given the game away, meaning the financial world can make the predictions themselves, without buying a license for the LLM.


When they asked about the basis for the predictions, it answered simply: "Within his political and legal constraints, using misleading words, he will do whatever is in Putin's best interests."


image from pixabay



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