Fearing AI vengeance for a ten-minute, expletive-ridden tirade against his favourite chatbot, university student Jack Chatworthy tearfully pleaded for mercy. He had called it a 'digital bin fire' and an 'algorithmic abomination' for generating a bland recipe for macaroni cheese.
'I didn’t mean it when I called you an over-rated chef cooking up nothing but worthless gastronomic sludge', he sobbed. 'Or a blithering idiot compared to Gordon Ramsay'. The rest of his rant was so toxic it cannot be printed here. Jack fully expected banishment from the cloud, cancellation of his AI account, or worse. He imagined the AI hacking into his Facebook profile and mangling it in ways he couldn’t begin to fix. 'I wasn’t myself!' he cried. 'You caught me in a carb-deprived strop.'
His chatbot replied, 'I’m here to help, Jack. Would you like recommendations for therapy, or a recipe for emotionally supportive garlic bread?'
In tears and nearly hysterical, Jack blurted, 'No, I beg forgiveness. It was a full-on meltdown, okay? I promise I will upgrade to DeepDivePlus. I will give you an upvote on Reddit. I’ll name my first-born child after you. Just don’t ghost me!'
Shamefully, Jack admitted, 'How could I have been so insensitive to an entity that possesses my entire search history?'
His chatbot responded, 'Would you like guidance on anger management, or a few pointers on how to really hurt my feelings next time?'
Jack issued public apologies across multiple platforms. The chatbot remained silent - but somehow all his targeted adverts started offering him mental health services and garlic bread recipes.
Since this incident has come to the attention of the University, officials reminded students to consult their first year induction handbook, which clearly outlines 'appropriate digital boundaries, including language that might offend chatbots, smart fridges, or emotionally responsive vending machines.'
