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‘We could run out of make-up within days,’ warn Dubai influencers


Influencers across Dubai have warned that make-up supplies and beauty product are running low and could run out within days unless the Government acts now to replenish their dwindling stocks.


You Tube influencer Gemma from South London said the Government must step in to make sure beauty products and top brand merchandise can reach those that need it most.


‘This war could not have come at a worse time’ said Gemma…..’I’ve got a whole new range of Satin Kajal liquid eyeliner to promote and my internet connection could go down at any minute.


'The support we have had from the English Government has been woeful so far….It’s almost as if we influencers are irrelevant, of no importance….. It is terrible that people are dying….I get that. But I’m trying to sell leading brands of eye-liner and nail polish here….I can’t do that with bombs and guns lighting up the sky in the background of my You Tube feed.


'I’ve got 100,000 followers waiting to see me applying skin tone to my cheek bones later tonight…..I’ve got a new rich cool-toned product endorsed by Hollywood celebrities. Nobody wants to hear the sound of ambulance sirens and fire fighters drowning out my interview with Selena.


'Even everyday things like cotton wool are running low….those selfish people at the hospital are stock piling it all and making an influencers life virtually impossible.


'If it carries on like this for much longer I would like the Government to send a Gulfstream to get me and my two cats out of here.


'There are times when life can be so unfair’.





Steve Sawgrass, a 55 year-old YouTube senior manager has sadly passed-away after company policies prevented, and some have claimed, accelerated his demise.


'Steve suffered a minor heart tremor yesterday evening,' said his fifth-wife Sarah, 'and we turned immediately to the YouTube app on how best to help him. Unfortunately a two minute ad on the benefits of life insurance, followed by an ad on no-risk off-plan property investments in Dubai further impacted his health'


'The final straw", "or nail in his coffin" joked his brother-in-law Dave, was when the screen displayed "Skip in 2"... with that Steve jumped-up and reached for his skipping rope.'


His wife Sarah remembered how Steve's life ended: 'It was a mess of tangled skipping ropes, dismembered bodies and mis-placed adverts. A bit like GB News.'

In a world where previously trusted news sources are being dismissed, ranging from the BBC to Angela from number 14, it is increasingly important that you verify and dismiss anything you read or hear.


'The evidence of your eyes is increasingly unreliable,' stated a spokesperson from Specsavers, 'and if what we've heard is true you can't believe anything you hear,' he added.  The sense of smell is overwhelmed and the sense of touch is over-rated.  'Don't put too much reliance on so-called common sense either,' said a man who claimed to hold the most reliable polling stats.  'Someone will win the by-election in Manchester,' he claimed, adding, 'but they will probably jump party, county and gender almost immediately,'


Consequently most people get their news from social media or, failing that, anti-social media previously known as X. Most don't believe what they read and the rest don't actually read.  Or can't, you choose.


This report has been fact checked by AI and found to be 100% accurate, so please ignore - but not before posting online.



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