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Nasa giant new Moon rocket looks awfully like a d$ck




The space agency denied they were overcompensating but acknowledged they had accepted a sponsorship deal with Viagra. The new rocket is twice as large as the space shuttle, but only half as long as Errol Flynn.


To a packed conference, NASA said: ‘Yes, it’s got length. But it’s also got girth. Stop giggling at the back! It’s got 15% more thrust. Stop it! And it is filled with spacemen, not seamen as some bright spark scribbled on my notes.


‘Frankly, this penis obsession is puerile nonsense. The kind of immature speculation you would expect from those with school-boy humour. We are very proud of Starship Dildo.’



Image from Pixabay by RJA 1988


James Webb telescope fails to provide breath-taking photos for third day in a row




Astronomers have expressed frustration that the James Webb telescope hasn't produced fantastic images for days. 'Just a lot of dark sky with bright spots randomly spread across it,' said one astronomer. 'It's just like looking at the night sky,' said another.


The telescope promised to bring new, fantastic images from deep space, but astronomers have concluded that space looks 'pretty much the same' no matter how deep you look. 'We had a spot of excitement yesterday when we saw something really different, but it turned out to be a fly on the monitor,' said a research scientist today. Another got really worked up over an image print-out, but realised the printer cartridge needed changing.


'Stuff downloading mega-sized files to convert into boring nightscapes,' said a top scientist, 'I'm just going to lie on my back in the garden tonight with a cheeky zinfandel at my side and hope it doesn't rain.'


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