'We were go for launch, then an announcement came over the intercom,' complained a senior NASA manager. 'Some BS about not enough staff to drive the rocket. I tried to over-ride the instruction because there wasn't supposed to be any staff on-board, just dummies - which Avanti insist on calling stewards. Then they claimed the contactless machine wasn't operating correctly so snacks and drinks couldn't be purchased. Eventually they said a bus replacement service would be in operation and asked everyone to be patient.
'The good news is we're entitled to make a claim on their website. Apparently we're good to claim $54 billion plus a free bacon roll next time we travel with them.'