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Nasa giant new Moon rocket looks awfully like a d$ck


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The space agency denied they were overcompensating but acknowledged they had accepted a sponsorship deal with Viagra. The new rocket is twice as large as the space shuttle, but only half as long as Errol Flynn.


To a packed conference, NASA said: ‘Yes, it’s got length. But it’s also got girth. Stop giggling at the back! It’s got 15% more thrust. Stop it! And it is filled with spacemen, not seamen as some bright spark scribbled on my notes.


‘Frankly, this penis obsession is puerile nonsense. The kind of immature speculation you would expect from those with school-boy humour. We are very proud of Starship Dildo.’



Image from Pixabay by RJA 1988


First published 21 Aug 2022



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Spaceship to recover lost TV episodes

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Billionaire Tech Bro Jeff Bezos is planning to recover lost TV episodes from space.


He claims that TV programmes originally broadcast in the fifties and sixties, for which no recordings exist, ‘can be recovered from space’.  The theory is that the original broadcast signals are still travelling out in deep space and that, if you have a fast enough spaceship, then you could get ahead of the signals in time to record them for posterity.


Blue Origin is building a new and super-fast rocket that will be able to find and record lost episodes of Dad’s Army, Hancock’s Half Hour and Steptoe and Son.  The company also hopes to recover some old American TV programmes, but who cares about those?  Blue Origin is offering to find and record the old shows as an important service to humanity, but also to boost audiences on Prime TV, as it’s cheaper than making new shows.


‘These sitcoms are enormously important records of British culture in the 1960s,’ said a spokesperson who hardly looked 19, never mind 60, and clearly knew nothing about old British TV classics.  ‘Modern technology can recover these lost programmes and monetise them for future generations.’


There are rumours of a deal with the BBC that will allow the recovered shows to be broadcast in Britain for free, in return for the rights to re-broadcast them around the world on pay TV.  Who knew that the BBC could be that savvy?


A spokesman for Jeff Bezos reiterated the importance of the mission. ‘The jokes may not have aged well. The jokes could be racist, misogynist and anti-trans.   But a little controversy never hurt sales, so we are happy to rescue Britain once again – this time by saving their beloved, low-budget, and funny-for-reasons-that-Americans-don’t-understand TV sitcoms.’



Image credit: deep dream generator

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