Lockjaw
"Citizens of Russia, our superior technology had been tracking an alien craft from the Andromeda Galaxy heading towards Earth for a number of months. We did not wish to cause alarm for the peoples of the planet as we are a peace-loving nation. We attempted to set up a task force to repel the potential attack, which we calculated would make landfall in the south of Ukraine.
"Sadly, we must now inform you that whilst repelling that craft our flagship, the Moskva was hit by a Shrödinger Raygun which incapacitated, and then sank it. Consequently, the crew have been killed and are very much alive. We hope this clears up any misunderstanding created by the false news perpetrated by the Western powers".
