.
top of page
Search
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/763384_98a25e1d23c74befb47c3c73f2f758f8~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_115,h_77,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,blur_2,enc_auto/763384_98a25e1d23c74befb47c3c73f2f758f8~mv2.jpg)
A student who amassed a record-breaking student loan debt of £231k has a plan to deal with it, and is unconcerned.
‘Is this a big debt? Yes, it is. Are the government adding interest to my debt at an outrageous rate? Yes, they are. Have the government hiked up the interest on student loans? Yes, they have. Did they change the rules on me retrospectively? Yes, they did.’
Colin Card admits that the size of his debt would cause many people great anxiety. ‘My Gran used to say ‘never a borrower or a lender be’, says Colin. ‘Silly old moo.’ But Colin is not letting his student debt cramp his style.
‘My plan is quite simple. I’m cutting my working hours to minimise the debt repayments. This also reduces my tax bill, so it’s a win-win. The student loan repayment is a discentive to work and I’m fine with that. I’m prioritising my quality of life – walking on the beach, spending time with friends and family, dossing around. It’s great. My health has recovered from my student days – less drinking, less pizza, more exercise, lower blood pressure.
‘My plan is very, very simple. I only have to wait it out and eventually – admittedly some years away – the government will just cancel the whole debt, including all the interest. They’ll never get the money off me. I’ve figured it all out. That degree was worth it after all.’
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/763384_da9b3b98907845b1bc5f1cbe2614744b~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_115,h_77,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,blur_2,enc_auto/763384_da9b3b98907845b1bc5f1cbe2614744b~mv2.jpg)
In an attempt to gain younger potential voters the government has rolled out some new initiatives.
'We've stopped the under 18s from buying lottery tickets - and why not, they're hardly likely to use their winnings to bankroll the Tory party,' said a government minister today. 'We've also stopped them buying and smoking cigarettes or vape products until their 18th birthday - and any check on the high street will confirm what an effective rule that is,' he added, puffing his chest out.
'Drinking beer is a long standing privilege for over-18s, also ruthlessly observed. And what's all this getting married before you're 18 all about, eh? There's no way a 16 or 17 year old can be relied on to raise a child, keep a household, hold down a job and bankroll the Tory party. That's off the cards now, too.
'So now you can see Rishi's masterplan. No lottery, no smoking, no vaping, no drinking and definitely no marrying. What is there left to do between their 16th and 18th birthday? Maths, that's what. What else could they legally do other than maths? What was that? Shagging? Really? Instead of calculus? You really are out of touch, son.'
bottom of page