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Steven Kirk from Leicester got more than he bargained for when he used the satnav in his new car for the first time, because instead of it directing him to the local tandoori restaurant he ended up 3500 miles away in New York!


'I just wanted to check it out, you know, boys toys and all that, so I said to my wife I'll just nip down the curry house to get our weekly curry. But ninety minutes after leaving home I was still nowhere near the restaurant.


'When I found myself driving through St Albans it did seem rather odd however I was just following the satnav woman's directions.


'Next she said "proceed to Gatwick and buy an airline ticket for New York JFK". I know it sounds silly now, but I mean computers are always right aren't they, so that's what I did,' Steve explained.


'My wife, wasn't too best pleased when eventually I called her from New York to tell her where I was. She had the wine ready and the plates warming. I didn't half get a good ear-bashing when I got home the next day.'


When asked if it hadn't occurred to him that something was wrong with the device, he said: 'Well, not really, you see the car's brand new.'


Now counting the cost of a trip that's set him back a cool £4000 rueful Steve admitted, ‘I think I'll maybe walk to the curry house next time.’


photo: https://pixabay.com/users/mikes-photography-1860391/


Luke Lyle should have put up some shelves over the bank holiday weekend, but became hypnotised by coverage of the World Snooker Championship.


'I only switched it on to check the latest scores. The next thing I knew it was Monday night, John Virgo was narrating my inner monologue and I was surrounded by take away containers, empty beer cans and a sense of melancholy at what might have been. Where is the cue ball going?'

Girlfriend Tara Taylor was disappointed but not surprised. 'Our relationship was as rocky as Judd Trump's long game at the start of the final. Oh my god, a snooker analogy? What have I become? I'm going to end things with Luke, go outside, get some daylight. Metaphorically, that set of unbuilt shelves is doing some heavy lifting.'


photo: https://pixabay.com/users/mastertux-470906/

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