The sudden shock of 100% tariffs on foreign-made films has brought a swift response from the British film industry.
A spokesman for the industry was quoted as saying “with the higher prices to show our films in the US, we’ve made the only logical response by doubling the length of our films. This will mean that American moviegoers will retain the same value per minute. Sure", he added, "it’s longer than they’re used to, but at least they’ll have enough time to actually eat their vats of popcorn”
One British film being remade in the new longer format is believed to be “Eight Weddings and Two Funerals”.
Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash
In his first act as Pope, the American Robert Francis Prevost has declared that he will impose tariffs on other religions competing with the Catholic Church for the devotion of followers.
‘We need to reset the religious economy, put our church first and Make Catholicism Great Again’, he said, pulling a branded ‘MCGA’ mitre onto his head.
‘Any non Catholics visiting the Vatican City will face tariffs of 120%,’ he declared, unveiling a white board setting out the tariffs that will apply to each religion. ‘ We're making an exemption for Buddhists who will only pay 10% as no one can seriously consider them a threat.’
Other innovations expected from the first American Pope include the construction of a wall around the Vatican City to control immigration, and a new Climate Change Denial initiative which will see the year-round emission of both white and black smoke from all papal buildings.
In his final word at his first press conference, the Pope confirmed he hadn’t ruled out sending cardinals to Greenland to capture the territory by force
story by @herculepoisson