Online whingeing forum Mumsnet is believed to have joined the nuclear powers after developing its own atomic bomb.
'Obvs we'd prefer a hydrogen bomb', a spokesmum said. ' 'A' bombs are a bit Tesco, hydrogen bombs are more Waitrose. Ooh, do you think we could get a neutron bomb? I don't even know which retail tier that would belong to. Harrods?'
Mumsnet got the idea for an independent nuclear deterrent after seeing how much Israel has been getting away with.
'Obvs we don't want to invade a foreign country or commit genocide', the spokesmum told us. 'It's more the principle. When we're negotiating better rates for piano lessons or asking the local council to offer free swimming lessons it will be good to be able to threaten to vaporise the town hall. We've had some modest successes with abductions and offing the odd official but we'd really like to take it to the next level'.
International nuclear watchdogs have expressed alarm at this latest nuclear proliferation, with one official saying 'We thought North Korea was batshit but these people terrify us'.
Image: Newsbiscuit Archive
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