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Elon Musk admitted today that the bulk of his fortune comes not from Tesla or SpaceX, and certainly not from X (formerly Twitter), but from posting pictures of his feet to OnlyFans. 


“I don’t know why you guys are so surprised,” Musk told reporters today. “SpaceX makes huge losses, even when we manage to launch a rocket without it blowing up. Tesla just had to issue the sixth recall this year for the Cybertruck. And don’t get me started on X, which even landmine manufacturers won’t advertise on now.


”Yeah, things were looking pretty bleak until I realised I could make serious dough posting pictures of my feet. 


“Gotta be honest, I never thought they were that attractive. But it seems like there are some weird people out there. And most of them follow me on X already, so it was easy to send them a link to my new site.


”Since then, it’s been my only reliable income stream, pretty much subsidising all the businesses I’m running into the ground.


”I thought I might have to take a break over the summer when I got athlete’s foot, but, er… did I mention there are some weird people out there?”


Asked whether he knows of any other famous people posting pics of their feet, he grinned and said he couldn’t betray a confidence.


”Let’s just say, he doesn’t dye his whole body the same orange as his face.”



image from pixabay





Multi-billionaire Elon Musk today had a very public meltdown when he heard people still referring to the social media platform he owns as Twitter.


'It’s not like the original name was so great anyway,” said the sulky plutocrat. “I mean, Twitter, seriously? And individual posts are called tweets? It’s stupid.


'My name for it, X, is way better, with posts called… well, I guess they’re still tweets, we didn’t really think that one through. Anyway, it’s my platform so I can call it what I like. And the little people have to fall in line.


'But every time it’s mentioned on the damn news, they say ‘X, formerly known as Twitter’… it’s like they’re telling people not to bother learning the new name.”


Meanwhile, trending on Twitter (sorry, X) was the topic that if Musk wanted to rebrand Tesla cars as “overpriced, impractical vanity purchases that only relocate the pollution to wherever the electricity is generated”, people would be happy to go along with that.


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