World Monopoly Championship urged not to allow transgender participants

Hasbro has been urged to change its "unfair" rule which allows transgender people to compete in the world championships of its popular board game 'Monopoly'.

The women's rights group 'We're Not Rampant Hate-Filled Homophobes, Honest!'  are demanding that the competition scraps rules which allow transgender women to compete after discovering one beat two women in one of the heats back in 2019.

Group leader Miriam McBadtooth stated "it's bad enough that these so-called women are allowed to play Monopoly anyway, but to put them in a position where they can defeat biological women despite the massive physical advantage they must have rolling the dice is just ridiculous. We're calling on Hasbro to do the right thing, especially now we've got the courts and the right-wing newspapers on our side".

Tensions were further heightened when it was discovered that in a recent game played by the Hounslow Monopoly League a transgender woman was sent to Jail by a Community Chest card at the same time there was already a biological woman there who had been imprisoned for a different offence (throwing three doubles in a row), forcing them to share a cell for a turn. 

This comes hot on the heels of the group making similar requests of the International Poker Association, the European Boggle Tournament and the UK Pictionary Competition.

image from pixabay

author: watchermark

Harry Potter and the Trans Character who meets with an Unnecessarily Grizzly Death

A whooping JK Rowling was allegedly seen orchestrating an angry mob with pitchforks and torches, searching for trans people to 'ask legitimate questions'. That came after a legal ruling on representation on public sector boards was celebrated by all the wrong people.

Rowling and Graham Linehan are said to be co-writing a buddy comedy where all the trans characters are either evil killers or suffer gruesome torture and recant their trans-ness before dying horribly - or both. Both Rowling and Linehan cited William Shakespeare as a writer who would never use characters who cross dress or change gender.

One anti-trans activist proposed trial-by-toilet for trans people. '100% of trans people either want to commit or have committed or are committing right now, sex crimes in public toilets. Now that is not true, but it might be, which is close enough. Why are you so in favour of sex crimes in public toilets?'

'We must put trans people on trial, by dunking them into a public toilet. If they drown, then they're innocent, but if they survive, then we can legally put them to death on JK Rowling's birthday.'

Another interrupted, frothing at the mouth. 'I blame Les Dawson and maybe Mrs Doubtfire. Is hunting with dogs still banned? Typical lefties! We'll just have to resort to some good old fashioned, common sense, mob justice – maybe throw in a cheeky little lynching here and there for variety. I just can't wait to smash what I don't understand.'

Image credit: Stable Diffusion

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