Ankara released a message: ‘Too long has our name been negatively associated with failure. And if we’re going to be linked to a festive meal, why that ridiculous bird? Why couldn’t we be called Cranberry Sauce – too rude, I suppose. Annoyingly some of the best names are already taken. Belgium has got dibs on the sprouts, Ukraine is nothing but stuffing these days and the UK is just a nation of pigs in blankets’
image from pixabay
Plates and glasses that would never normally see the light of day – even your Faliraki 2009 plastic tankard – are gearing up for their annual moment in the sun. But since Boris Johnson promised to save Christmas, everyone assumes it will be as ruined as last year when an undercooked turkey turned your bathroom into a biohazard.
The Festive period carries great risk as well as great reward for your spare spoons, however. When people rummage through drawers for a spare container for cranberry sauce, they may discover other items they no longer need, like a bread maker, the dystopian spectre of bourgeois consumerism, extra egg cups or the military-industrial complex.
Amy Armstrong said, ‘I didn’t know we had a spare ladle. Bin it, we’ll get another one in the sales.’
