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West London Brexiter shoots wife following bent banana confusion

A 57-year-old man from Kentish Town in West London was being held in police custody last night after blasting his wife in the chest with a shotgun in a fit of rage due to frustration that post-Brexit bananas were still curved and not straight as he mistakenly believed had been promised in pro-Brexit newspapers like The Daily Mail and The Telegraph prior to the 2016 referendum.

Michael Steeden, a boating lake attendant, was held by police at his home in Chalk Farm Avenue after neighbours reported two loud gunshots.

Officers broke into the property and found Steeden sitting on the stairs with the shotgun across his knees and a banana in his hands which he appeared to be trying to straighten with a copper and hide mallet, according to an eyewitness.

His wife of twenty-two years, Shirley, was found in the kitchen clinging to the sink with gunshot wounds to the chest.

The injured woman was rushed to the Kensington and Chelsea hospital where she was last night described as 'comfortable but extremely shaken'

A police spokesman told newsmen: 'Mr Steeden has been charged with attempted murder contrary to common law.

'He has admitted the offence, blaming frustration that post-Brexit bananas had still not yet been straightened, as he mistakenly believed would be the case following the Brexit referendum'

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