UK experiences "anomaly" in the economy.

Observers say that they are "disappointed" after the UK economy nosed-dived after the much anticipated relaunch failed to gain enough height.

The pilot, Captain Sunak, made a safe take off of the PM 3 Dumbo. He then released the Hunt engineered Econ-bomb vehicle. All was thought to be going well. However, failure followed as the second stage failed. Pundits believe that the "anomaly" was caused by a lack of maths skills coupled with the failure of the 5-point booster which failed to move the craft into the anticipated orbit.

It has emerged that the take off nearly didn't take place at all as they had invited a Mr Kwarteng to make the countdown:

10, 9, 3, 6, 5, 2, 8, 1 Zero.

Where no man has gone before

Virgin Galactic bus replacement service 'ready to go'

Virgin Galactic has said a bus replacement service is ready should there be any problems with the flight scheduled to take Virgin representatives and Richard Branson to the edge of space.

'As with the West Coast route, we appreciate that there may be issues on the day ranging from wrong beard in the cabin to the wrong kind of stratosphere,' said a Virgin spokesman today.

Most rocket experts believe the flight will take place regardless, but fully expect the toilet door to remain open for most of the flight.