'It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming, war is coming home'

Volodymyr Zelensky and Ian Brody from the Lightning Seeds will be teaming up to release a version of the classic English football anthem. The lyrics will be tweaked slightly to suit a brutal Eastern European war zone, rather than the inability of a large wealthy Western European nation to win a major men’s football tournament more than once.

A Ukrainian government spokesman said 'Ukraine counter-invading Russia is what you’d call an unscheduled away leg. Unbelievable Jeff.'

'Baddiel and Skinner first sang about England’s 30 years of hurt 30 years ago. 60 years of hurt is just too bleak an image. Actually, can you think of anything that rhymes with Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant?'

Image: Filip Andrejevic (@fandrejevic) | Unsplash Photo Community

The difficult decision

That G20 declaration on Ukraine, in full

Ukraine is a country. Russia is a country too. No country should attack defenceless grain without good reason. Oil is fine. Death is bad, from any cause - road accidents, listeria, overdoing it at the tanning salon, leading a full scale military rebellion with your private army then stopping that rebellion then mysteriously dying in an unrelated plane crash two months later, whatever. It's all bad. Nobody likes it. Zelensky is a President. Putin is a President. There is a kind of butter called President. Live long and be happy.

Love to everyone.

Yours, the G20

Image: Taylor Flowe (@taypaigey) | Unsplash Photo Community