Trial questions for would-be agony aunts/uncles/piblings etc.

Q:  Can everyone see what total knobs Donald Trump, Nigel Farage and Elon Musk are, or am I wearing magic glasses?

Q:  My wife assured me her 'Mrs Always Right' mug was microwave safe.  It turns out it wasn't.  How does one proceed from a marital point of view?

Q:  Given that wars are generally fought over invisible things - borders, gods, principles etc. - can I invade the Houses of Parliament over my pension?

Q:  I am putting out a petition calling for the OED to redefine the word 'celebrity' - any takers?

Q:  It struck me that the European response to any world conflict would be doomed if it was centred around EU or NATO military collaborations.  Would it be better to proceed with a Eurovision Alliance?

Footnote: Pibling is a word. Google it.

Scary picture credit: Wix AI

Syria enters era of peace and stability...just like Iraq

As the Assad regime falls, Syria is on the cusp of an age of tranquility, if by tranquility you mean years of terrorist conflict and indiscriminate mayhem. Said one Syrian: 'It's just nice to get rid of one psychotic dictator, so we can start on the next.'

Rebel forces quickly went about liberating prisons and freeing torture victims, to make room for all the prisoners they would have to torture. They refused to say if they would open slave markets like 'liberated' Libya, but pointed out that without slaves how would the next iPhone get built?

Victorious Hayat Tahrir al-Sham (HTS) promised an end to violence* *Terms and conditions apply. While the UK was asked why it now supported a terrorist group of religious fanatics, a confused Minister replied: 'We have always supported the US.'

Photo by Peter Pryharski on Unsplash

Russian peace deal demands Zelensky wear a suit

The war in Ukraine is set to rumble on as a diplomatic solution, hinged on President Zelensky knowing how to put on a tie. While relinquishing Ukrainian territory is seen as unreasonable, asking Zelensky to find an ironed shirt is a clear red line.

One Russian General complained: 'Zelensky has treated the entire campaign as dress-down Friday. Combat trousers and t-shirts, every f$ckin day! He dresses like he is still in college. No serious politician gets his wardrobe from Andriy's Army Surplus.'

Ukraine has made a counteroffer that Zelensky would wear his 'birthday suit' if the Russians also went naked. Said an aide: 'That way we all get to go commando.'

Photo by Alex Fedorenko on Unsplash