Clementine Carruthers from the Rupert Murdoch Institute for Denying Inconvenient Facts said, 'This graph I drew in crayon proves that Greta Thunberg is now a major source of climate change after she burned another right-wing, fact-sceptic, micro-penis owner. Also climate change is a hoax and Jeremy Clarkson's bitter, twisted misogyny is just saying what Rupert says we're all thinking. We're all sexually infuriated by much younger women who are articulate as well as attractive. Throwing shit at our own mortality isn't Freudian. Definitely not, Daddy.'
A tiny statement from the Micro-Penis Owners Association read, 'How dare YOU Andrew Tate, we have enough problems! The platinum memberships of Tate, plus Jeremy Clarkson and Piers Morgan are hereby downgraded. Not revoked because, after all, Andrew Tate has a micro-penis, Jeremy Clarkson is imperceptibly priapic and Piers Morgan is smoother than a sweaty Ken doll down there.'