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Weird sisters caught producing unlicensed HRT potion



Three sisters of Birnam Wood were caught in the act of cooking up the 'medicine' in a cauldron, of all things. Inspectors from NICE took samples and declared the constituents were 'unseemly'.


In response the foul and midnight hags declared that they were only trying to fulfil a need that was welcomed by many women across the kingdom.


Not having any particular powers over magick , the witches were told to aroint themselves from the immediate area or they would be brought before Dunsinane Assizes.



Image from Pixabay by darksouls1


Evil White Witch to annex England



The UN has received another shock today as it learnt from our correspondent, Mr Tumnus, that the Queen of Narnia claimes sovereignty over Albion.


A spokesperson experienced in dubious narratives confirmed, 'There has always been a corridor between the two kingdoms via a wardrobe in the dusty attic of a country house.'


'We have already detained the traitor Aslan and intend to put him on trial for aiding a number of children who entered Narnia without permission. Unfortunately, the spies 'Lucy' and 'Edmund' have evaded capture. Be assured, this is no fantasy.'


Liz Trussed-Up was unavailable for comment.



Original image from Pixabay by ImaArtist


#IStandWithStrawMan


Distorters of arguments everywhere, took to social media to defend someone you have a) no beef with, b) no interest in or c) have, literally, never heard of. In one angry tweet, one attention seeker demanded: ‘Anyone who does not support witches, should be burnt as a witch!’.


A 38-page Mumsnet thread, quickly hyperventilated: ‘I am outraged, that anyone would support the strangling of puppies. I know, no one has said this or actually done this, but your lack of apology about harming fictitious puppies, is clear evidence that you are a puppy killer…and a Nazi. Although I’m not sure how I got to that last one’.


StrawMan himself, was unavailable for comment, but friends say he prefers to live and let live. Commented one blogger: ‘Of course he would say something like that, he’s clearly a Woke snowflake, Neo-liberal-shill or a Warmongering Redneck…or….or…some d$ck made out of hay’.


Image from Pixabay:


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