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Remote workers vote to strike from home



Following the breakdown of a series of Zoom meetings to discuss pay and conditions, telecommuting staff have voted to take industrial action and are preparing to go on remote strike. The action could see workers failing to attend virtual communication seminars, remote documentation reviews and on-line management briefings, all without the need to blame their internet connection or IT set-up.


The Union Convenor explained that the pay offer had been rejected by the membership via a postal ballot, although most of the votes had been cast remotely by proxy to save workers from having to leave their home office environment.


Meanwhile, the Company said that it was suspending the benefit of being able to work from home during the period of industrial action. A spokesman explained, ‘We expect striking workers to turn up and strike from their workplace.’


However, one worker is preparing for a long slog away from the laptop in his spare bedroom. He has already ordered a brazier from Amazon to stand beside when on virtual picket line duty in his garden.


image from pixabay



First published 10 Jun 2022


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Misery should be "default" says minister



Britain's office workers should get back to expensive and time wasting commutes, sick buildings and sexual harassment, said a spokesperson for the chancellor yesterday.


Billie Bunt, Junior Minister for Treasure, clarified that the government's position is that, as most key workers cannot work from home, and are often paid less than office workers, something has to give. And as a pay rise for nurses was obviously unthinkable, back on the buses it is.


"Britain's swift adjustment to home working was a resounding success - giving people flexibility, helping people see their families more, and saving money and pollution" continued Ms Bunt, "it's got to stop. How are the property and transport companies going to pay their dividends if we go on pandering to what the little people actually want? Trusting them to decide how they live their lives? They'll be wanting to choose who's in government next."


image from pixabay



First published 19 May 2023


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Soldiers agree to 20% pay cut to work from home


Following an initiative from a London law firm, the Ministry of Defence has said many soldiers have agreed to take a pay cut to work from home. They denied the decision by squaddies is to avoid having to work from the Polish border instead.


'The army is full of resourceful people and we believe it is possible to practice marching in step with a couple of hundred virtual avatars on a Peloton and Call of Duty is a perfect way to practise tactics and weapon drills,' said a MoD spokesperson today. Critics have pointed out that people parking tanks in suburban areas was already a problem, and if they have to move their BMW SUVs so that the army workers can park at home the situation will likely become worse.




First published 5 May 2022


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