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41C and your Mum can still feel a draft

The UK is expected to hit gazillion degrees over the next few days but your Mum still insists on wearing slippers and hunting out the spare rug 'just in case'. While everyone else is soaking in a cold bath filled with ice, she is checking the thermostat and making a nice cup of tea.

Preparing a roast dinner, while wearing a cardigan, she seemed nonplussed that the cat had already collapsed through heat exhaustion. One scientist explained: 'The laws of thermodynamics state that heat cannot be passed from an old lady's hand to another and that absolute zero is the static temperature of her feet'.

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