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Academize? Sorry we meant to say ‘privatise’

Updated: Jan 12, 2023

The Government was forced into an embarrassing apology for what was seen as a monumental error in spell-check affecting the last six years of education policy. A spokeswoman for Department of Education explained: ‘We’re sorry for the confusion, clearly, we should have plastered ‘for sale’ signs over every classroom.

‘Yes, it’s the death knell for a national curriculum but it will mean G4S can get to run your sport’s day. Imagine the sight of an electronically-tagged three-legged race or a taser relay. We may be breaking up a system of local government that has run for one hundred years, but it’s the only way we can ensure Eton stays ahead of the game’.

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