With the urgency of a giant tortoise, Swiss prosecutors have noticed that there may be some ‘minor irregularities’ in their banks; including no locks on the doors, single digit pin numbers and a solid gold Toblerone ‘in the shape of Adolf Hitler’.
One banker commented: ‘We’ve had to put up with a lot of false criticism over the years. Don’t be put off by my fake moustache, monopoly money and this bag that says ‘swag’. Swiss banking is a beacon of ethical behaviour – just like Robert Maxwell’. One elderly Argentinian, with a pronounced German accent, was full of nothing but praise: ‘The Swiss give me flexible 24-hour banking and are happy to take deposits in the form of gold teeth.’