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All Oscar nominations are ironic, right?

One listless movie viewer complained: ‘Meryl Streep has now reached nineteen Oscar nominations. Nineteen. And all with the same prosthetic nose. That can’t be hygienic’. While the awards night itself now runs for 168 hours straight, with the host’s quips barely keeping pace with a nearby glacier.

An Academy spokesperson explained: ‘For some reason a room full of self-congratulatory millionaires, does not resonate with people as it once did. The sight of smug luvvies in posh frocks is greeted with the same level of apathy normally reserved for candle making, bongo playing or soup’.


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