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Ban on child robots sitting exams

Originally, robot ethicists had been concerned that these robots would be exploited sexually, but most parents have used them to pass difficult childhood tests, such as eating vegetables or tidying their room. Rather than eat crayons or burp the alphabet, these child robots are more attentive, do not smell of wee and do not mistake fidget-spinners as exercise.

Top manufacturer ‘No Nits, Just Bytes’ is keen to emphasize the benefits of a robot child over a real one: ‘Unlike the yappy live version, these ones come with an off button, marked STFU’. One Roboticist remarked: ‘As a parent you cannot feel tenderness or form an emotional bond with a droid. But that same is true of any child that fails its SATs. No one likes a loser.’

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