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Beatles forced to reform

Despite being 50% deceased, the popular beat-combo is set for a surprising comeback. It turns out that other than the depth of Katy Perry’s cleavage, nobody likes modern music.

Sadly, all tunes since 1970 sound like a goldfish tank being hit with a polo mallet, an angle grinder or a dubstep version of nails on a blackboard. Music executives were particularly disheartened, early this year, when a baby crying in response to an electric drill mistakenly won a Grammy.


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