One disheartened hack said, as he hid from direct sunlight: 'We’ve tried everything – sneering comments about tattoos, weight-loss, infidelity…we’ve even had a pop at their children. Nothing. Not a sausage.' he complained, while casting no reflection. 'The public refuse to turn against them. For some reason they find love of family and hard-work adorable.'
Choking on some garlic, one Editor remarked: 'It's like the British public are almost ‘happy’ for them. What does that mean? League titles in four countries, Olympic ambassador, style icon, pop superstar, charity work…it’s too much..it’s…it’s… I’m meeeeeelting.'