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Blair solves Middle East problems by quitting‏

Palestinians and Israelis set aside their differences to celebrate the departure of the UK's 'grin reaper'. United in optimism, warring tribes and diametrically opposed faiths took to the streets to burn effigies of Mr. Blair and erect banners saying: 'Don't call us, we’ll call you'. Even IS has started to withdraw from areas of Northern Iraq, on the understanding that Mr. Blair never visits on a book tour.

With the back of his head a new symbol of hope, his spokesman said: 'Tony has shown people that there are problems that run deeper than thousands of years of conflict, or New Labour as we call it'. One diplomat commented: 'And just like Keyser Soze and WMD - he's gone!'

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