A spokesman for UNICEF declared: ‘Nations ravaged by civil war and colonialism need, more than anything, one unwashed Irishmen 100km above the Earth.’
Bowing to pressure from the peoples of Africa, Mr. Geldof has agreed to selflessly pay £64,000 for a seat onboard a commercial space flight. ‘What could be more inspirational for a child dying of aids, than to know that ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ is playing in zero gravity?’
Sadly the £150 million of famine relief raised by Live Aid would have been better spent sending 200 millionaires into space. Fortunately, on this trip, Geldof has chosen not to squander the cost of one ticket, on the immunisation 2000 children. His accountant boasted: ‘It’s all tax deductible. And who wouldn’t want to see Bono fired into the sun?’
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