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Boeing to use 'much stronger glue' in future

Following the fallout (literally) of an emergency door from a Boeing plane in flight, the company has pledged to use 'much stronger glue' when building their planes in future.

'We’d been using the glue that comes with Airfix models,' explained Boeing CEO Dave Nosedive today. 'I mean, they’re planes too, right?

'Then we noticed the small print on the box said "This is a non-working model, obviously you can’t use the same glue for real planes, you utter morons." So between that and the news stories about our planes falling out of the sky, we realised we needed a rethink.'

Nosedive said he sent his Head of Procurement, Steve Tightwad, down to WHSmith to see what they had. 'He came back with an own brand, all purpose glue that was pretty che… I mean, cost efficient. Doesn’t specifically say it can be used on metal, but it’s probably OK.'

Despite this, Nosedive was summoned to a meeting of angry shareholders in New York, with the specific instruction he should fly there on a plane made by someone else.

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26 mar

Sooooo, they'll be sniffing hard core glue. That'll really improve things.

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