Countdown clock to Kate Middleton's 50th birthday denied by tabloid newspapers
Fawning tabloid newspapers wringing every last reason out of running Kate Middleton pics have 'found no evidence' of clocks ticking down to her 50th birthday.
'We don't need a clock,' said the editor of one tabloid newspaper so grim, its pages come pre-stuck together. 'When she hits that point where she's too old and not sexy enough any more, we'll know it and pivot to slagging her off. Or we might just ignore her completely. We have a special skillset in judging when middle-aged women become worthless to us as objectifying them based solely on their looks. We've had a good run out of Kate, but someone else will come along who will take her place. Has Charlotte Church had a foxy young daughter yet?
'Even if she hasn't, then we can always fabricate a thousand reasons to run old pictures of a young Lady Di again. Our only real concern is that our readers might catch gay off Eurovision.'
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