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Demand to ride on ‘Metal Death Tube’ bewilderingly low.

Throughout the pandemic the public had been warned to stay away from trains, so subsequently nobody fancies travelling in a sneeze-infested morgue, with limited Wi-Fi. Having seen a 25% drop in usage, one Rail Boss explained, from the safety of his private island: ‘We need to turn a healthy profit in the short-term, because these commuters are not going to be alive in the long-term.’

The Transport Minister insisted: ‘It’s only right that those who have been isolating, should now be forced to travel on cramped trains, to a densely populated city, only to bring infection back to their homes. And it’s only fair that they pay for the privilege.’

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